>Nice, enclosed backyard.  High brick walls.
>Keeps out critters and neighbor's stupid kids.
>One day, you hear fluffy pony voices from the yard.
Ugh, here we go.
>"Huwwy!" gray unicorn leads a group, crawling out of a hole.
>Since when do fluffy ponies dig tunnels?  Or did they comandere a gopher tunnel?
>Three purple earth fluffy ponies follow the unicorn out of tunnel.
>They beam at the sight of your lawn...
>"Smawty fin' grassies!" "Smawty save fwuffies fwom tunne' munsta!" "Yay smawty!"
>All four start eating your grass while babbling.
>"Sky pwetty!" "Fwuffy wuv grassies!" "New home?"
>Realize you need to step in now.  The bastards are eating your lawn.
>Open sliding glass door.
>Fluffy ponies freak out immediately.  Purple fluffy ponies cower behind gray unicorn.
>"Munstah!" "Hewp! Smawty hewp!" "No huwt fwuffy!"
>Predictably, they're shitting and pissing themselves like crazy.
>The gray unicorn fluffy growls.  "S'ay back, munstah!  Dis is our grassies!  Go away!"
"This is my backyard.  You can't stay here."
>"Our back'ard!  Grassies ours!  Go away, munstah!"
>You step forward.  Purple fluffy ponies start crying and shitting like crazy.
>"No get cwoser!" unicorn is freaking out.  "Or ewse smawty huwt munstah!"
>For fucks sake.
> You wouldn't mind a few fluffies for pets.  Their poop is the best fertilizer known to man.
>You just feed them cheap pasta, and they keep your lawn looking amazing.
>If they die, they die.
>But four fluffy ponies is a bit much, and no fucking way are you dealing with a "smarty."
>What to do?
>You head back inside.  Fluffy ponies are already praising smarty  for scaring you off.
>Grab some leftover butter linguini from the fridge.
>Back outside.
>"Hewp! Munstah back!"  "No take gwassies!"
>Put down plate of pasta.
>The smarty isn't budging, but the smell is irresistable to the purple fluffies.
>They stumble forward.
>"Foodies!"  "Sgetties!  Fwuffy wuv sgetties!" "Yay foodies!"
>They're stuffing their face.
>Gray one yells.  "No!  Is twick!  No eat foodies!"
>Purple fluffies completely ignore him, butter all over their face fluff.
>Cute.
"You guys can live here," you say.  "I'll feed and care for you.  You just keep pooping in the yard."
>Their faces light up.  "New home?" "New fwend for fwuffy!" "Fwuffy good at poopies!  Fwuffy wuv new fwend!" "Fwuffy wuv new home!"
>Smarty gets angry and charges.  Rams his horn into a purple pony's bottom.
>"Owie! No huwt fwuffy!"  She looks at you.  "Daddy, hewp fwuffy!"
>"NO!" gray smarty's lost it.  "NO NEW HOME!  NO NEW FWEND!  SMAWTY IS FWEND!  LISTEN TO SMAWTY!"
>Suddenly, a hawk swoops out of nowhere.  Grabs smarty.
>Flaps up out of sight.  Can barely hear smarty yelling out.
>"No wike fwying!  Hewp!  Biwdy, no huwt smawty! Hewwwwp!"
>And.... they're gone.
>Purple fluffies barely even saw it.
>"Smawty fwend can fwy?"  "Smawty fwend come back?"
"No, I don't think he's coming back."
>"New daddy?"  "More sgetties for fwuffy?" "Have to poopies!"
>Three months later.  All three fluffy ponies still alive and happy.
>Lawn has never looked better.  Fuck yeah.