Alright, sir - Or rather, ma'am, let's tally up the cost. You bumped into a shelf of potions, knocking over and breaking the Gender Swap potion, which costs $29.95 a piece. Then, in a frantic attempt to cover up your now-nude body, you put on an XXXL "When's Dinner?" sweater, which is enchanted to make you grow to fit it. Due to the recent influx of magic into your body, the enchantment went haywire, causing you to outgrow and destroy the garment. That's another $59.95. While panicking over your sudden transformation from a man into an obese woman, you didn't notice as you backed into a rack of assorted accessories, causing a cowbell to fall around your neck and transforming you into a half-bovine hybrid. That's only $11.95, since it was on sale. As your new udder grew in, you knocked over a hat stand, and a vintage 1940 'Randy's Radio Ranch' cowboy hat fell on your head, causing a complete overwrite of your personality with that of a traditional singing cowboy - Or rather, cowgirl. That's a high ticket item, $299.95.

You finally calmed down, but now you were confused about where you were, since this Oregon pawn shop isn't exactly the high desert of New Mexico. In an attempt to threaten me, you broke a display case - $200 for the glass, by the way - And pulled out a pawned revolver, which apparently belonged to a criminal of some sort, since you're now pointing it at me and threatening to kill me if I don't open 'the vault'. Need I remind you of our policy for dealing with robbers? There, just relax as the mental distortion field takes hold. You'll fetch a high price. I'm thinking... Chunky Cassie the Criminal Cowgirl. You'll more than pay for the damages you've caused, believe me.