1		1.The Velvet Underground I'm surprised I listen to these amazingly talented ladies and gentlemen as much as they do, because "Sister Ray" and "Venus in Furs" are so grimy that they make me want to take a shower, and I hate feeling that grimy. Probably has something to do with the "amazingly talented" part.
I'm surprised I listen to these amazingly talented ladies and gentlemen as much as they do, because "Sister Ray" and "Venus in Furs" are so grimy that they make me want to take a shower, and I hate feeling that grimy. Probably has something to do with the "amazingly talented" part.
2		2.David Bowie This guy has done such a wide variety of dirty, dirty things that I probably don't want to know about, and yet for as shamelessly depraved as he is, he also seems like the suavest man on EARTH.
This guy has done such a wide variety of dirty, dirty things that I probably don't want to know about, and yet for as shamelessly depraved as he is, he also seems like the suavest man on EARTH.
3		3.Prince Songs like "Adore" make him seem downright romantic even after you realize that he's probably pioneered more bizarre sexual acts than you knew existed.
Songs like "Adore" make him seem downright romantic even after you realize that he's probably pioneered more bizarre sexual acts than you knew existed.
4		4.Leonard Cohen He's actually a dirty, dirty man, but the way he presents his perversions is poetic. Yes, even when he's rhyming "four-poster bed" with "giving me head."
He's actually a dirty, dirty man, but the way he presents his perversions is poetic. Yes, even when he's rhyming "four-poster bed" with "giving me head."
5		5.The Stooges Okay, so these guys have no class. But they do the sex, drugs, and nihilism thing so well that I'm surprised anyone else even bothers.
Okay, so these guys have no class. But they do the sex, drugs, and nihilism thing so well that I'm surprised anyone else even bothers.
6		6.Marvin Gaye Guy's voice is so smooth that you just might forget how explicit some of his material is.
Guy's voice is so smooth that you just might forget how explicit some of his material is.
7		7.The Isley Brothers They sing so much about the big nasty that they're probably all addicted to it, yet they're so smooth about it that they probably get it all the time. Which is more than I can say for the "R" in "child molester," R. Kelly.
They sing so much about the big nasty that they're probably all addicted to it, yet they're so smooth about it that they probably get it all the time. Which is more than I can say for the "R" in "child molester," R. Kelly.
8		8.My Bloody Valentine
9		9.Elvis Costello He's subtle about it, but oh does he write extensively about hate-sex.
He's subtle about it, but oh does he write extensively about hate-sex.
10		10.Roxy Music The original sophisticated perverts.
The original sophisticated perverts.
11		11.Tindersticks Sort of Roxy Music's hipster cousins. Like how seaweed is lettuce's hipster cousin.
Sort of Roxy Music's hipster cousins. Like how seaweed is lettuce's hipster cousin.
12		12.Al Green He hated shirts at least as much as Robert Plant, but he was at least five million thousand times classier about it.
He hated shirts at least as much as Robert Plant, but he was at least five million thousand times classier about it.
13		13.The Notorious B.I.G. Sometimes he overdoes it (think "One More Chance"), but consider "Big Poppa" and "Hypnotize."
Sometimes he overdoes it (think "One More Chance"), but consider "Big Poppa" and "Hypnotize."
14		14.Atheist All right, I was kidding about this one.
All right, I was kidding about this one.
15		15.Belle and Sebastian Tales of workplace sex, cheating, and all sorts of experimentation wrapped in the most adorable melodies you could possibly imagine.
Tales of workplace sex, cheating, and all sorts of experimentation wrapped in the most adorable melodies you could possibly imagine.
16		16.The Cramps Punk blues perverts!
Punk blues perverts!
17		17.George Clinton He just wants some freaky stoned alien sex. He's also (ready for the big surprise?) one seriously charismatic guy.
He just wants some freaky stoned alien sex. He's also (ready for the big surprise?) one seriously charismatic guy.
18		18.Depeche Mode One of the kinkiest bands I know of. They are also effortlessly suave.
One of the kinkiest bands I know of. They are also effortlessly suave.