When we get back to the apartment, I step in first as Emi shuts the door behind us.

“That was... easily the most awkward dinner I've ever had.” It was all I could think of to say. As I place my hands on my hips, I realize I’ve gotten used to my meals being rather chatty. The speed at which Emi would tear into her food (and usually some of mine) always left plenty of time for conversation. Seeing Emi move so slowly and coldly, keeping her head down and barely speaking a word at all… It was so unlike her.

I hear sniffling behind me, and I turn around to see Emi burying her face in her hands.

“Emi! Are you alright? Why are you crying? I shouldn't have made you go to the dinner... I'm sorry. We don't have to anymore.” Pangs of guilt surge through my chest as I remember that she only went to that dinner because I pushed her to go. As much as it bothered me to see her be so un-Emi-like throughout the evening, I should have been paying closer attention to how stressed and bothered SHE was. The fact that she was now crying because of something I made her do made me feel horrible.

She tears her hands from her face. “No, that's not it.”

“I'm crying because I want to, and I hate it. I hate it so much, Hisao.”

I can’t think of anything to say.

“I hate that I like him. That Takeda seems like a nice person and that he wouldn't be bad to have around my mom. I hate that he might actually replace my dad in my memories. I... just...”

I move towards Emi, and take her in my arms. She keeps shaking from her sobs, but she seems to relax a little and leans into me.

“I love my dad... I really do. And I don't want to accept that he's going to fade out of my memories completely. But I have to. I know it's going to happen, no matter what.”

“Then just keep running, Emi. That's how you can remember him best. That's what he did, that's what you love to do. Those feelings you get from running; that's your dad in you. And you'll never lose that, no matter how faded those memories become.”

She buries her face into my neck. As I feel her tears against my skin, I continue to try to comfort her.

“Time will make it easier on you. And so will I. I love you Emi. I'll always be here for you. We can move forward together. Remember what you told me when I first started running with you?”

She laughs into my shoulder between her body's shakes.

“Crawl before you walk, walk before you run.”

“You know Hisao, you've gotten a lot faster than me.”

I give her a confused grin. “No way. I'm still a snail compared to you.”

She shakes her head. “No, you're much faster than me. I always thought I was running ahead of you, leading the way through life. Somewhere, you beat me.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

She shakes her head, kissing my neck.

“No, not at all.”

A long silence and I continue holding her, brushing her neck with kisses until she settles down.

“You know how my favorite color's blue, right?” I nod. “Did I ever tell you why?” I shake my head.

“My father's eyes were blue, like Takeda's. My mom probably sees a little bit of my dad in him. That's... that's probably why I'm having such a hard time disliking him.”

She gives me a bitter smile.

“He'll still never replace your dad, though. No matter how much you come to like him, or even love him or consider him a step-father one day. Your dad will always be with you.”

She nods, her eyes starting to water up again.

“Hisao...”

“Yeah?”

“Don't get too ahead of me, okay? I don't want to lose sight of you.”

I pick her up, cradling her in my arms with the warmest smile I can muster. She means everything to me.

“I'd never.”