[Binned by Thread OP. Author unknown.]

>"You think you can take me on you Celestia spurned overgrown mole rat!? Stand and deliver then, I'll teach you why I'm the queen of this castle!"
>Anon clears his throat to get into the role.
"Has the stress gone to you, Gunny!? Did I drill your little head so hard you need to be discharged? It's 100 years too early for you to take ME on! Cross this line soldier, and I will have your head- I WILL HAVE YOUR ASS!"
>Wrastling for dominance ensues
>"Pah, I thought monkeys were supposed to be strong! What is this grip!? I'D CALL YOU A DECREPIT OLD MARE BUT EVEN AN OLD MARE COULD THRASH A STILLBIRTH LIKE YOU!"
"OH LA DI FUCKING DA SHE KNOWS OLD BULLDYKES. DO YOU EAT CARPET!? I BET YOU MUNCH CARPET BETTER THAN AN ENTIRE HERD OF GOATS IN A TEXTILE STORE!"
>"IS THAT WHAT THIS EMBARRASSING LITTLE THING IS? YOUR MUFF? I HAD PEGGED YOU FOR A MALE OF YOUR SPECIES, MAGGOT, BUT APPARENTLY NAKED MONKEYS HAVE NO PENUS! I THINK YOU'VE BEEN CHEATED! SOMEONE OUT THERE FANCIED THEMSELVES A COMEDIAN AND DECIDED TO TELL YOU, YOU WERE A MAN ALL YOUR MISERABLE LITTLE LIFE!"
>The mare grunts.
"WHAT WAS THAT!? SOUND OFF GUNNY, IT SOUNDS TO ME LIKE YOU'VE BITTEN MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW. DO I HURT YOU GUNNY? IS IT PAINFUL!? CAN YOU NOT FIT THIS "EMBARRASSING LITTLE THING" UP YOUR CRUSTY CUNT!? NO WONDER YOU'RE HERE, CAN'T EVEN TAKE IT LIKE A PROPER MARE SO YOU JOIN THE GUARD!"
>The mare lets escape a few moans.
>"YOU CALL THIS SEX!? YOU SUB CREATURE'S WOULDN'T KNOW A THING ABOUT SEX EVEN IF- AH~ RIGHT THERE!"
>Meanwhile, the guard recruits barely have a wall between them and their Drill Instructor's quarters.
>The more they try to not hear, the clearer it sounds.
>Every pony can only glare from their bunkbeds, homing in on one private Fluttershy, the one who can't help herself picking up stray animals.
>She trembles and apologizes to no one in particular every time the sound of flesh sounds out in the otherwise quiet barracks.