>You look over the stern as it leaves port. The gentle waves lap against the hull of the cruise ship.
>Damn the signing up for the raffle for ex-convicts paid off.
>You breath in the salt air and rest your arms on the railing.
>Bliss.
>”Anon! There you are!”
>Your blissful wonder shatters with that familiar voice.
>You peek over your shoulder to see a Pegasus, bright yellow mane that been slightly ruffled with a dull light red coat.
>Yep that’s her.
“Happy Days?” You turn around to see your old cell mate and uninvited house guest that wouldn’t leave. “What you are doing here?”
>”You forgot to tell me we where going on a cruise.” She smiles at you wearing a sun hat.
“There was only one ticket Happy.” You grit your teeth.
>”Nope there was two, I found one in the bin at our home.”
“My home.” You pinch the bridge of your nose.
>”Of course, it’s your home as well silly.” She rolls her eyes.
>After being [spoiler][Censored][/spoiler] for deaf row, Happy Some how got it in her head you where a couple.
>Apparently you called her a “mate” at one point.
>Ever since she’s been following you. Like an old ache, you try to ignore it.
>You turn back and bury your face in your hands. This still isn’t the Equestria you wanted.

>You are snapped to attention when the ship dips and slows.
>”ICEBURG!”
>Oh shit.
>You’ve watched Titanic multiple times, for the drawing scene of course.
>You sprint to the bow of the ship, hoping over ponies in sun loungers and little foals.
>Grabbing onto the rail you look over.
>There’s nothing.
>You look around a few ponies have joined you with this search for an ice burg.
>”THERE IT IS! RUN!” A pony screams in horror.
>You squint to peer into the water, just bobbing a long is a small ice cube.
>The ponies shriek as it slowly floats towards it target.
>You hear the crew shouting for the captain to turn.
>Suddenly the unthinkable happens.
>Tink.
>The ice cube hits the hull.

>Ponies erupt into a frenzy. Climbing over each other to evacuate the ship to the lifeboats.
>The crew in their bravery gives each pony and inflatable duck ring to have around their waist as flairs are shot into the sky for rescue.
>”ANON! WE NEED TO LEAVE! THERE'S NOT ENOUGH LIFE BOATS!” You see Happy flying towards you.
“It’s an ice-cube Happy. The ship is fine.”
>”It’s sinking Anon!”
“No it isn’t Happy! Besides you can just fly to port.” You point at the port. “It’s like half a mile away.”
>”But I’ll never leave you Anon.”
“Leave it until we’re in the water Happy…”
>You throw your hands into  your pocket and stroll along the deck, swerving your step to dodge panicked ponies.
>You hear a band play a sad melody over the screaming and shouting.
>”THE LOWER LEVELS HAS FLOODED! WE’RE DOOMED!” You watch a pegasus with an inflatable ring around her waist take a plunge into the water.
>You turn on your heel then head to the stairs and descend into the lower levels of the ship. To your disappointment Happy follows.
>You check each corridor, just rushing ponies trying to grab their stuff. Checking in a few rooms you see a few laying in their beds accepting their fate that will never come.
>Walking down further you spot some water seeping out one of the rooms. Turning the handle, the door pops open. Following the trail of water into the bathroom you turn off the tap.
>Fucking ponies.
>”Anon…” You hear Happy say your name in a sultry voice as she closes the room door behind her with her hind leg. “This maybe the last moments we will ever be had together…”
>Nope.jpg.
>Papa Anon always said “Never stick you dick in stupid, else you’ll get something like you son.”
>Huh…
>You shake you head from your childhood memories and pick up Happy, flinging her over your shoulder.
>”Wah! Anon!”
“Get you mind of the gutter Happy.” You open the door and walk up the corridor. “Your leaving this ship.”
>”So…heroic…But you can’t do this!”
“I can and your leaving.”
>”But what about our unborn foal!” She starts to weep. “It’ll grow up without a father!”
“Your just  gotten fat Happy, I told you sitting around my house all day eating cakes will do this to you!”
>”So that’s how foals are made…”
>You grit your teeth with her stupidity. Ponies are sometimes stupid and act nothing but infants. But this one, this one takes the cake.
“No Happy, sex makes foals…” You groan.
>You make it onto the deck and head to the lifeboat.
>The crew shouts for mares and foals only.
>Brilliant.
You hold up Happy in the air “Got a pregnant mare here!”
>”Okay let her through!” The crewstallion replies.
>”NO! Anon!” She shouts as she is pushed onto the lifeboat.
>You simply wave goodbye.
>Spinning once again on your heels you head to the sun lounger and lay down in the warm sun.
>Eventually the screaming and crying dies down. Tranquility returns to the ship.
>Looking around you couldn’t see a single pony insight.
>Nice…
>”Oh, somepony still here.”
>You open your eyes and look to your side.
>You guess the pony is the Captain.
“Yeah, the ship is still floating.”
>”Yeah, this is awkward. I gave a massive speech to my crew about me going down with my ship…”
“I can see their faces, when you return to shore…”
END
________________________________________________________
>”Anon! I Cant hold on much longer!”
>You awake from a daze led on a tiled floor.
>Food products have been scattered around you.
>Broken jar and dented cans, you are surrounded by grocery gore.
>You roll your head and look up, you see Happy’s red rear end as she’s caught between two store shelfs that’s has toppled over.
>She slowly sided town towards you. Sweat starts to bead on your forehead as you watch the ring of death descends upon you.
“For heaven sakes Happy! Climb up! Climb-“
>*Record scratch*
*Freeze frame*
>Old meme.

>Yep that’s you. You may be wondering how you’d gotten into this situation…
>It all started when, you decided to go shopping, Happy has cleared all your cupboards, not by greedy hunger, but failed cooking attempts for Hearts and Hooves day.
>You never knew how she manage to burn a fruit salad, nevertheless you need food.

>You wheel the shopping trolly along the white tiled for, of course it’s the one with a squeaky wheel that has more control then a mare in heat.
>You grumble as you look at the prices of the store.
>”Hey Anon? Can we buy some soup?”
“You got your own money Happy…” You replied looking at a content of a readymade spaghetti pack.
>”You mean our money~”
“No, your money. My money.”
>”But we’re married...” Her wings sag to her sides.
“No, we’re not. Dragging me to a temple isn’t marriage Happy.”
>”But..”
“Fine! Just get some soup!” You slam the spaghetti in to the trolly.
>You watch Happy flutter over to a stacked pyramid of soup. A slight panic pangs in your being. You’ve seen too many cartoons to know what going to happen.
>You were just about to shout for Happy to take the top one. But, she already did.
>This is going better than you expected.
>She flies back and places it into the trolly and tilts her head. “What’s wrong?”
“I though you were going to take a can from the bottom…”
>”Oh…What’ll happen if I did?”
“What do you mean if you did.”
>She shuffles awkwardly in her spot. “I thought that I should grab a second one.”
>She holds a can in her hooves.
>You face drops, you tear your eyes away from the can to the pyramid.
>As expected, a hole in the neatly stacked cans.
>The soup pyramid wobbles and sways as time slows to a crawl.
“SHIT!” You turn and push the trolly, fleeing from the falling canned death.
>Happy noticing your terror flies above you screaming over the clattering cans.
>The cans hit the high shelfs causing them to topple like dominos. Pony shoppers scream and holler as food rained down upon them, the sound of shattering glass and clattering of cans echoes through the store.
>You push your trolly through the chaos until you feel your foot slip on a fallen wet floor sign.
>You crash down onto your back as the shelving from both sides topple.
>Your vision sways as you look up at Happy caught between them.
>”Anon! I Can’t hold on much longer!”
“For heaven sakes Happy! Climb up! Climb up!“
>She slowly slips down between the shelving. Her hind legs pushed up to her stomach you give a full view of marehood, you’ve never been so scared. Slowly but surely you see her ponut inch towards you.
>You turn your head away from the sight.
>To your dismay, you feel a rear ringed kiss you on your cheek.
END
_____________________________________________________