It's raining again.
I'm on the edge, on the verge of a breakdown, trying to keep hold of myself
And it's raining.
Below me, the waves rise and fall violently, reaching higher each time. It's coming for me, trying to consume me, assimilate me into waves of mindless violence, thoughtless expression of wrath -
Hold firm. Keep it steady.

I really am on the edge. I don't even remember coming to this place, a nameless cliff in the neverending rain and the endless night, an island in a storm, facing off all of creation's fury,
But not a shelter. Never a shelter. I'm not the cliff, I'm just a drop from the sky, nameless, unimportant.

I thought I was important, once.

It failed. It all failed. My journey started without saying goodbye, riding on a senseless cloud of bursting euphoria, and it ends here. I won't say goodbye this time either, will I? I'll just fade away. Drop into the sea, become the sea, become the rain, be one with the mindless, the thoughtless, a blind and raging fury that will disappear come the morning, like it never happened.

I like the idea. Pretend nothing happened, that I never happened, just drop into the sea. I entertained an insane notion, I chased my rainbow, and now it's time to say good night, ignoring -
even though -

God damn it, what about HER, you bloody fool? That's it, is it? Your little journey ends here, in the sea, in the rain? Just shrugging and casting away your responsibility, your guilt? How self-absorbed are you? Do you really think this rain can drown out what a pathetic human being you are? It can't. You can, if you weren't so blinded by your own anger and self-pity.

You used to hate the rain, didn't you? You used to hate the notion of being just anybody. This is how it started, your crazy quest for - oh, I don't even know. Your little escape, that's how you should call it. A little run for it, thinking you can outrun a storm. You can't, no-one can. Oh, some lights shine in the storm, that's for certain, but you are not one. You never were one. You want to be a nobody now, do you? Just fuck off and die like a raindrop from the sky? I can think of no-one more deserving.

But she does not deserve this. She does not deserve hearing that her neglecting, runaway husband offed himself on some godforsaken cliff and that his last words for her were egocentric moans about how she stole his life.

What are you doing? Get back from there, you need to make this right. You need to fix this, rub the water from your eyes and face me for once -

I'm sorry, but the sea is calling.